Big Girls Don’t Cry

I like to think that the days of high-school Queen Bees – where young women are mercilessly taunted per instruction of an obnoxious cow and her herd followers – are over. Perhaps it’s simply the type of woman I choose to surround myself with – ones who encourage instead of envy, collaborate instead of criticize and who are inspired rather than intimidated. This is a pivotal talk that us – as women – need to have with ourselves. One where we realise internally that we must stop comparing ourselves to each-other, judging one-another (whether based on envy, criticizm or a pure lack of self-worth), and tearing each-other down. The only person you will end up selling short is yourself.

Imagine a world where we ‘straightened each-other’s tiaras when nobody is looking’. And where collectively we enforced femininity by encouraging and supporting our fellow women. Imagine what we could achieve. It has little to do with feminism – don’t get me wrong – because a lot needs to change in the way of how that is portrayed before the world will take it as seriously as it needs to be taken. But it has everything to do with how we can compound our womanity by believing in, and encouraging, each other.

So even though Woman’s Day has passed long ago, I want to stress that these concepts are timeless and the celebration of our collective strength shouldn’t be limited to one day of the year. So here’s to the strong women out there – be it the moms who try their best, the big sisters who let their little sisters steal their clothes, the women who encourage sensitivity in this sometimes-harsh world, the women who love their bodies, the women who say no to violence (or a third piece of cake), and to the women who make other women feel like they can achieve anything, just the way they are.

So no, big girls don’t cry, they laugh and love and sing and thrive in the collective sisterhood that is actually all around us. Love your fellow sister not for what she does for you, but for who she is to you. 

I’ll end this post by mentioning the women who give me vision and strength, and from which I draw massive inspiration:

My mom – the woman who is always there, and who gave me wings to fly as high as my heart desired. The most solution-driven person in the world. The epitome of strength and love.

Redi Tlhabi (former 702 presenter) – one of the most well-articulated, calculated, sharpest minds I’ve come across. And then she broke my heart and moved overseas. *sob*

–That super kind intern who I worked with in Paeds Onco.
–That super patient intern who helped me do a spinal during Paeds, even though I breached the sterile barrier twice and had to change gloves twice as a result.
–That beautiful intern in Urology who was dressed on-point every day, despite being an ‘overworked intern’. Ward rounds on heels? Bring it on!
–That freaking bad-ass trauma Doctor at Kalafong who casually teaches us during resuscitations – #womancrusheveryday, k luv u bye!

Lydia, my old spinning instructor at Roodepoort VA – who I now emulate (and copy her music) at every one of my own spinning classes.

This 80 year old lady who decided to drive – in her little Toyota Conquest – from Africa to London to have tea with the queen: http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20180718-from-africa-to-tea-with-the-queen (READ AT OWN RISK…WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!)

River Song. I know, I know! She’s a character in Dr Who. Closet-nerd busted. But she is strong, fierce and wise. *SPOILER ALERT* She has one of the most tragic love stories with the Doctor; their time-lines are in reverse. But she is intelligent and adventurous and I wish she was real and could be my friend. *second sob of the day*

That amazing, driven young woman who I went to school with, who has started her own fitness/personal training business and who has changed so many lives already at the tender age of 19 (!!!) and who encourages self-love around EVERY corner. You rock!

This other amazing, young woman who not only encourages me to be myself unashamedly at every opportunity, and is the calmest, purest and most level-headed person I know, but who has also opened my heart and eyes to her culture and who has made me feel more like family than most people on this planet. True friendship? Nah, I didn’t know it before I met her.

 

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”  ~ Robert A. Heinlein